I’m sitting on this swing that i have in the backyard of my house. I’m sitting here since 3 hours now (that’s what my wristwatch says) but I happen to disagree with it cause come on, “I have finished listening to just one song yet. Well I agree I have the song repeat but still, does that prove you’re right?”
The fact that I no more swing but just sit is not that it doesn’t move but, I guess the weight of the emotions i’m carrying on my head is too much for this little thing to move with. Talking about emotions, I must say I’m ‘depressed’, well I’m not sad or upset, i’m depressed. Well Depression is not just a feeling, It is more of a devil than that. It’s an ’emotion.’ Because, it forces you to express itself. It steals you from all the joy and exhilaration you have in your life and throws you in a void. A void that seems too hard to fill in with your confidence and beliefs. It’s like lake water seeping into the dead ocean, drowning into that salty giant by suffocating your own sweet taste. Even before you call for help, you’re the dead ocean yourself.
That is just a rough idea of what i’m going through right now. Maybe you are with me into this as well. Maybe you’re too feeling…, i’m sorry, “experiencing” such a similar thing in your life. Do you feel lonely too? I won’t say alone because, you’re alone only when you’re alone, when there is no one around. But loneliness can creep onto you even in some of the most crowded places.
I don’t feel good about my situation. I know it has to change and there is no one to help me out, even the antidepressants are too tired to work for me.
Little did I know, that the help I was reaching for is already offering me a hand. And that I was just being a little too skeptical about the strength that I had in me all this time. But I’m slowly realizing that this will go on forever unless I take charge it. It’s my life and I got to be the one sitting on the control panel. I can’t let Mr. Dreadful Depression be incharge, can I? Not anymore. My swing too agrees with me now with its slow back and forth movement, which is by the way catching its pace as I re-instill faith in myself.
So what are you waiting for? Are you still gonna sulk about how can your ex move on so easily. Also, I saw my ex-girlfriend yesterday with her new boyfriend (she is such a bitch). Let me tell you, people move on pretty fast. You should too. Stop waiting on that swing, hoping that somebody will come in and help you through this shit. That ain’t happening, you have to get through it all by yourself, even if that means crawling your way out.
We all have our thirteen reasons to give up on life or give into depression. But my friend, it’s time that you find your thirteen reasons to live more.
Believe or not but life is too precious to waste on a stationary swing, allowing yourself to get consumed by the dreadful thoughts. Instead, you have to jump out of it in order to take on the next big tide in your life.
I am jumping, are you? Come on join me, three…. get prepared, two……. are you coming or not……? here we go……, one. JUMP.
(dash…. bone cracking sounds).
P.S but if anyone has heard of a depression club, then count me in. ♥